Mommy and Daddy Time

I talk a lot about connection time with kids, but the same can be said for connection time with your spouse. It goes without saying that this parenting thing takes a lot out of you. Heck, I have more gray hair, wrinkles, flabby parts and aches than any other time in my life. I was also looking at the small mountain of vitamins and minerals I take every morning the other day and was reminded of visiting my grandparents when I was a kid and ogling at their piles, wondering how on earth they could swallow all those things.

But alas, now I’m the old and tired mama.

To top it off, Hubby and I have slipped into this routine of business partners. You know the drill, one gets the kids up while the other gets ready, then swap and the first takes a shower while the other gets meals in and teeth brushed. Schedules are planned around kids’ eating, sleeping and activity schedules. Parents pass in the hall, maybe get a word in to each other during a meal. Divide and conquer.

When the kids are in bed, I’m done. I want nothing more than to curl up with a book and be left completely alone.

It’s not hard to envision how parents grow apart over time. There’s no time for each other.

So we have to make time. We try to go on a date a couple of times a month, but there’s still that need to get away.

I know, sometimes that’s not easy, but you just have to take the attitude that it’s as important as life insurance. We must make time to reconnect. We budget for it. Even though we have no less than four sets of grandparents plus a single grandparent within a five-hour drive of our home, we still pay for childcare more often than not.

This past weekend Hubby and I took advantage of a Goupon I purchased last fall for a hotel in downtown Seattle. It was one of the nicer hotels and I gave it to Hubby as a Christmas gift. It even included $40 worth of food in one of three restaurants near the hotel. We dropped the kids off with one set of grandparents, checked into the hotel in the early afternoon and then looked at each other.

“Now what do you want to do?”

Other than a little physical reconnection (you have to take advantage whenever you can, right?), we took ourselves out to see Hunger Games, during the day before all the teens came. It was nice to see a movie in a half empty theater uninterrupted. We poked around a bookstore then had a nice dinner. That evening we we spent some quality time just relaxing, chatting and even watching TV. Hubby deeply enjoyed sleeping in and waking at his own speed. I loved the big, soft king bed where I could stretch out.

Then to get up slowly, enjoy a nice big cup of Starbucks (they still had my beloved Pumpkin Spice Lattes downstairs), and just chat uninterrupted and not over Sesame Street was pure relaxation.

It was over in a flash, but was a nice break from the routine. Not only were we a more connected, but we were more relaxed, and more relaxed means more patience.

My mom tip today is to take time to get away with your spouse or significant other. A strong relationship makes for a strong family and it’s something you must invest in for it to last.

Have you gotten away recently? What are your tips for affordable and valuable connection time with your partner?

Tagged as: parenting